Begin.

I feel I must begin this slight dissertation on my methods with a confession and a lament. When David approached me to join xheight, my heart grew with excitement and a sense of emotional relief upon the idea of a place whence my more abstract thoughts on design could find residence. These feelings were immediately followed by anxiety. How do I formulate these thoughts into digestible, understandable paragraphs, sentences and words? How can something which resonates so viscerally with me be transcribed in written word?

It has been a full week since that moment, but I think it’s time I take the bull by the horns and dive deep into what makes me, as my moniker would have it, sick.

***

Be consistent.

I dare say that no design is created the same for me. I have no established method, no exact steps that must be undertaken to achieve good design. Moreover, I dare not create such a system for myself, for if I would, it would, surely, lead to the creation of, for lack of a better term, blocks in my creative path. It would mean restraint and while that would lead to consistency, I do not approve of conscious, forced consistency when it comes to design. But this is not some blind decision, based on an irrational fear of self sabotage.

For all this to make more sense, you need to know a bit more about me. I am, wholeheartedly, skeptical and analytical. I do not believe in things; to me proven facts matter, anything else is just blind, unsupported belief. And, to me, things that cannot be proven, that have no evidence supporting them, are useless. It is a strange fact that I am also inclined to create and dream up things. By all accounts, I shouldn’t have a creative bone in my body, and yet there is a great part of me that needs to create, every day, without pause. Because of this mind frame, and the nature and duality of design (analysis and art) I must force chaos upon myself, because analysis is my natural go-to tool.

It is a struggle I go through every day and it gives me great self satisfaction whenever I reach that perfect balance between the two sides of me, for when that balance is reached, it is then that I produce sickness.

***

Be sick.

We live in a time when people from thousands of miles away are closer than ever. It is, without a doubt, the greatest conquer of the age of circuitry, and social media is the very pinnacle of this aspect of technology. Unfortunately, we also live in a time when the most common language is English. I say unfortunately because I was not born with the privilege of living in a native English speaking country and, of course, my real name is rather difficult to pronounce, let alone remember, for a native English speaker. I was, therefore, forced to choose a name, a moniker, an easy to remember and representative wording of who I am, as many others in my situation have and will for as long as the world will speak different languages.

I chose the word sick because of it’s dual meaning. Colloquially, it is both good and bad, it can be an expression of supreme quality, and also of disgust. While my intention has never been to produce disgust, I am attracted to its curious duality. Sickdesigner is easy to remember, short, poignant and descriptive, all of which are qualities that I was looking for.

***

Armed with my chaotic approach, I try, every day, to stay true to my assumed name. I constantly ask myself is this sick? and I rely on perseverance more than anything else to help me reach the point where I can say yes, Radu, this is sick.

Pen down. Sign out.